Quitting my job and not having another lined up, let alone not having a concrete plan at all? How risky, scary and extremely irresponsible! Yet, here I am having done it. I never would have thought I’d do such a thing, especially in my 30s. Whenever I heard of a peer quitting their job to travel, while I would envy their decision and impending adventures, how could I possibly do something similar? When faced with such a decision, we tend to focus on our insecurities and fears, emphasizing all possible things that could go wrong in the myriad of what-ifs that surface, overshadowing the many positive outcomes that could come about as well.
Indecision is the worst, and blindly following along a path you haven’t reevaluated in years sets you up for goals that no longer apply.
I’m sure many of you feel this way before settling on a major decision — being in the interim, feeling-torn stage is the worst. Going back and forth, making a (pseudo) decision and feeling pleased with yourself, yet changing your mind and ending up at the drawing board, is a brutal, cyclical process. Analysis paralysis strikes. This combined with the equally hindering barrier of no longer following the clear path that’s been laid out in front of you, makes the decision so daunting. But, realizing that you can venture off the path and create a new one that is actually more relevant to who you are today is an incredibly freeing and transformative feeling. Yes, obviously there was a purpose for me getting a degree in x so that I could apply my skills to job y, and work up to job z, but what if my needs have incrementally changed along the way? Taking time to reflect and make adjustments is important. Something else that is freeing — realizing you can go back should you find that’s what you end up needing.
My decision-process for leaving my job was fortunately not a drawn out one. As I mention in other posts, the seed was planted when I first went on leave for my health issues, and I began hearing inner thoughts come up more and more as I felt unwell from December thru February. Initially, it hit as a jumble of thoughts. A wave of worries that were completely disorganized and overwhelming. My therapist recommended that I write everything down to help organize all the disjoint thoughts, which spurred on making my decision.
Step 1: When thoughts and worries are overwhelming and messy, write it all down.
Brainstorming, with no order at all, all the reasons holding me back made me feel some relief. What am I afraid of?
Step 2: Categorize my worries related to the decision.
Reordering and categorizing everything holding me back helped me begin feeling I had some control over everything. If I could wrangle everything into categories, wrapping my mind around everything seemed more manageable.
Step 3: Identify potential solutions.
For each of my worries, I identified a solution, where the key aspect was to focus on what I could control. If it’s out of my hands, how could I do anything about it anyways?
Step 4: Feel less overwhelmed.
I felt an immense weight lifted from my shoulders once I went through the exercise, almost like the tipping point for me. My worries had solutions. Once I actually acknowledged there was someway I could wrangle in my worries, I felt in control. Seemed like most was manageable, and I could finally think with logic. You know when you give friends advice and never follow it yourself? I found this began to shift.
Is going through the process guaranteeing that you’ll immediately be able to make a decision towards action, whatever that action is? No, but it helped me process everything and was a necessary initial step.
Another exercise I completed that helped me make the decision to quit was itemizing (and also subsequently categorizing) all the things I wanted to do with my time. Writing everything out helped me see there were numerous possibilities, and so much motivation. So many prospects that I simply did not have enough time or energy for in my current situation, given my limited time, health and wellness.
Remember to have self-compassion.
Leaving is a big decision, and relieving yourself of pressure is key to the process. I reminded myself “this decision is not the end-all.” Whatever I do, is fine! If I discover something else I’m meant to be doing and my health improves, obviously great and what I would love. If I find I need to pick up a job for supplemental income on top of my savings, great. If I learn I miss my data science and product analytics life, great. There’s no reason why I have to set high expectations for myself during this time. I’m choosing to be kind to myself as I explore and try new things and focus on my health, and hope you remind yourself to do the same if you are in the same situation!
What helps you when you make these big decisions?
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